Chapter 46
Josie’s POV.
I pause a while for effect, staring determinedly into Ashton’s eyes. He had a hurt look on his face like I was leaving in the middle of something important.
I can’t bear to look at him for long, not when I don’t want to melt into a puddle on the floor, opening my arms for him to come back in.
No, I don’t want that at all. I’m especially grateful this call came in at the right moment.
Breathing out loudly, I steel my heart and said. “If my memory serves me right, you don’t have the right to question my whereabouts, Mr. Ashton.” I threw the bombshell, glimpsing the shadow that crossed Ashton’s
face.
I was just about to escape the little cocoon of emotions trapping us when Ashton held onto my hand, wriggling so close to me, his chest pressed into my arm.
From this compromised position, I could feel every thud of his heart as it slammed intensely against my arm.
“Hmmm. My wolf purred, rising to her feet.
I can’t seem to understand
this feelings tweaking inside me. How can I hate someone with such intensity and want him as much?
Ashton never made my life easy. He was just as cruel to me as others were. Treated me like trash and now his feelings and actions seem to be gas–lighting me, making me feel like a bad person when I shouldn’t.
This is all so strange. Even as I tried to talk myself out of the guilt, it didn’t work. My wolf wanted him just as much as my heart did.
But, Diego is outside, the voice in my head prattles, resuscitating my drowning thoughts.
“When?” Ashton said, his voice pinged and croaky, as if on the verge of tears.
‘Is mate about cry?” My wolf asked while I battled the whirlwind of emotions consuming me.
All I felt now was the strong urge to meld my body with his and have him wrap his arms around me. I want that beautiful night we bonded together years ago to repeat itself.
That very night Ashton gave me a special gift. A small bundle of joy that changed the course of my life for good.
Stealing a glance up, I see my daughter in him. Just exactly a copy of him with a little contrast with their hair color.
I want such a moment again, brimming with gifts he has to share. But this time I want the gift to stream in along with love. I want him to love me.
But I sure as hell know that someone like Ashton is incapable of love, I know without a doubt that…he’s here to ruin me. Like he did before. To give me hope and have it dashed right before my eyes.
I can’t put my trust back in him, regardless of how much he had saved me from evil. I just can’t and the thought of
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Chapter 46
it makes me feel a chasm of guilt and hurt.
“…when will you give me a chance to prove just how serious I am about you, Josie.”
By the goddess, his words are pulling me in, almost dredging up that need I’ve stashed in my heart for
him.
years for
The flash of memory where he rejected me before others in our school and pack hardened my heart a bit and I unclenched his hand from my arm and stepped a fraction of an inch away.
I can hear my wolf purring and wanting to be close to him, feel him all over us again.
“Not a chance in hell, Mr. Ashton.” The words tasted bitter even as they streamed out of my lips, the bitterness mirroring on Ashton’s face.
“Josie…I’m just…” As if unable to condone the distance between us, he bound into my space, cupping both my cheeks in his palms.
Our eyes connect, fluids of emotions raining inside me as I’m swept under his mesmerizing gray eyes. Those eyes. were the first thing about him that I loved the day I first saw him.
Undoubtedly, it had set the stage for my fantasy which Ashton featured in. I had always imagined how his eyes would rake my face while his manhood pleasured my body.
Yeah, that was one luxury he denied me the night we bonded. Ashton never looked me in the eye even as he moaned my name.
“I’m sorry, so sorry for what I did to you. How I hurt. Please give me a chance to prove how much you mean to me. Josie I want you so bad. I want you back.” He cried out, his deep baritone eliciting goosebumps on my skin.
His words stroking deep inside me, I’m almost caving, before the mate that hurt me.
“Being without you for years, days, nights, it’s being a torture.” As he bawled out the words, his thumps left a light, soothing caress on my cheeks.
I press my lips in a thin line, unsure of what to say. The fear of unlocking the dam in my heart and letting him in weighs heavily on me.
“Can you please…take me back, mate. Let’s build our bond. Let’s chase our dreams together…”
No, no. Every ticking seconds I’m in his arms tears a rock from my heart so I step back, keeping my face neutral, scared of showing him how much his words affect me.
“How many times do I have to tell you, Ashton? Just how many?” I blubber, pulling my gaze away.
“No matter how many times you say them, Josie. It still wouldn’t make me stop the feelings I stashed in here…” He said, pressing a hand to his chest, and ogling at me.
“It… “I tried to speak again but the sound of his phone ringing pierces the air, contrasting the battle of emotions we’re fighting.
“Hey, baby…”
11:20 Sat, 20 Apr
Chapter 46
As Ashton picked up the call, the unmistakable voice of a female speared into my ears. A voice I knew too well.
“Lena?” Ashton gushed and that was it.
Like a bucket of cold water had been splashed on my face, I straightened quickly.
How can he want me back when my ex–best friend is still his mate? I chuckled at the craziness of the whole thing and instantly made my way out.
Diego was waiting for me. Diego, the man who truly wants me for who I am.
TBC
